


Midgardian Mishaps (thor x bruce banner)

by ibuprofenn



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Slow Burn, Work In Progress, infinity war isn't cannon, loki keeps trying to set these idiots up, overprotective sibling, this is the only pure pairing, thorbruce, thruce
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 04:36:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14742116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ibuprofenn/pseuds/ibuprofenn
Summary: Thor needs help getting a girlfriend, so he enlists the help of his best friend Bruce Banner, who, by the way, has a huge crush on him.What could go wrong?EDIT: DISCONTINUED!! SORRY FOLKS





	Midgardian Mishaps (thor x bruce banner)

**Author's Note:**

> aaa, okay so I wanted this chapter to be longer (by about 200 words) but I guess this is good, anyways I love these two dorks

    Thor was having some trouble.  
Ever since he and Jane had broken up, he was having problems getting a new girlfriend. It had been a while, he had moved on, and he wanted someone special, but he just couldn’t find the right girl. He had been on countless dates, but he couldn’t seem to connect with any of them in the way he had hoped for. What could a god do except talk to his closest friend Bruce Banner about it?  
  
  
  
    Thor opened the door to Bruce’s lab, “Banner?” he called out, his eyes searching for the curly-haired scientist. “Oh! hey Thor! I’m over here.” he said, smiling and waving to Thor. He seemed happy to see him. “Ah! Banner,” Thor said, smiling and walking over to him, “How’ve you been?” he asked of his shorter friend, “Oh, I’ve been up for a while working on some stuff,” He said, shrugging and gesturing to whatever he was working on. The bags under his eyes told Thor that Bruce had been awake for more than just ‘a bit’.  
  
    “What about you?” He asked, Thor frowned, “Actually, I’ve been having some problems, that’s what I came to talk to you about.” He mused, rubbing his chin. Bruce looked concerned, “Is everything alright?” he asked, placing a hand on Thor’s arm. Thor was nervous, this wasn’t exactly easy to say. “Well,” Thor started, sitting down on Bruce’s desk, “I’ve been wanting a partner for a while, like a um, girlfriend is what you midgardians call it right?” Bruce nodded. “Yes, well, I’ve been having trouble finding one. I’ve been on plenty of dates, all with wonderful women, but none of them felt right. We just didn’t click.” He admitted, “Anyways, you’re a very attractive man Banner, I thought you might have some advice for me.” Bruce blushed, “Well, I wouldn’t say I’m very attractive, but thank you.”  
  
    “Nonsense Banner!” Thor said, “You’re a very good looking man, any woman would be lucky to have you.” He put a hand on Bruce’s shoulder and smiled.  
“Thanks Thor, uh, anyways, maybe you’re looking in the wrong places?” He suggested, Thor looked puzzled. “What do you mean?” “I mean like, you’re the god of thunder, finding the right girl on Tinder or something might not be perfect for you I guess?” He mused, “Like, Jane was an incredible scientist right? I’m saying maybe trying to find a girlfriend like any other person might not work out for you.” Thor wasn’t quite sure what a ‘tinder’ was, but Bruce’s point still made sense.  
“Hm, it could be, but I just don’t seem to like any of the women like I want to.”  
Bruce frowned, “Maybe that’s the problem.”

“What do you mean?” Thor chuckled,  
“The women, I mean, have you thought about giving men a try? Sometimes it’s things that you’d never consider that end up working.”  
“huh. No, I hadn’t considered that. Men are more my brother’s forte” He chuckled, Bruce smiled.  
“I didn’t know that was something Midgardians did, on Asgard it’s quite common, but I haven’t seen any gay Midgardian couples.”  
Bruce blushed, “Yeah, it’s something we do here, but It’s much less common I assume.” He paused and thought for a moment,  
“You know, sometimes you’ve gotta take a step back and completely rethink your process if nothing is working out for you.”  
  
    Thor nodded, “I’ll think about that, thank you Banner.” He put a hand on the smaller man’s shoulder and smiled.  
“Anytime Thor” Bruce smiled, blushing a little.  
  
    “Well, I’ve bothered you enough with my love life, I’ll leave you to your work.” Thor said, standing up. He could’ve sworn he saw Bruce’s smile fade for a second, but it was so brief he couldn’t quite tell. “Alright, I’ll see you around Thor, be sure to let me know how it goes.” Bruce said as the god walked towards the exit. Thor chuckled, “I will, my friend!” He waved goodbye as he walked out of Bruce’s lab, a smile on his face.  
  
  
-  
  
  
    Bruce had been having some trouble too, to tell the truth.  
Ever since he’d met Thor, he’d been kind of in love. It was no secret that Thor was attractive, everyone knew it. To add to it, he was funny and charismatic, he was kind and goddamnit, Bruce thought he was perfect.  
  
    It was almost comical that Thor was having problems getting a girlfriend, or at least Bruce thought so. Almost any woman would love to be in a relationship with Thor, hell, many men would too. Thor was the type of guy everyone loved, and Bruce knew it.  
He wasn’t going to lie, he had mostly suggested the men thing because he wanted a chance with Thor. _Whatever,_ Bruce thought, even if Thor did end up liking men, he wouldn’t have a chance.  
Still, his mind kept wandering to the part where Thor called him incredibly attractive.  
  
    He kept thinking about Thor’s smile and the way he had patted Bruce on the shoulder. Maybe it was nothing to Thor, but it had felt electric to Bruce. Bruce had kept his distance from any sort of romantic contact with people he truly cared about, too worried that they would get hurt. Too worried he would hurt them, or that he would end up hurt. The Hulk wasn’t easy to deal with, especially if you were looking for something more than a friend.  
  
    But Thor, Thor cared about Bruce _and_ the Hulk. He didn’t treat the Hulk like he was some monster who needed to be contained, and he treated Bruce like more than a smart guy who wasn’t very useful in battle. Thor was one of Bruce’s best friends, and he was so thankful to have met him.  
  
But having a crush on your best friend never goes well.  
  
-  
  
  
    Thor kept thinking about what Bruce had said, he hadn’t realized there were gay Midgardians. Thor had been with many women and many men, he didn’t really have a preference. Since he hadn’t seen any gay Midgardian couples, he had been pretty sure that that wasn’t a thing they did. However, according to Banner, Midgardians could be gay. This was news to Thor, as in his experience Midgardian men seemed over-masculine and touch-averse. Perhaps it was different for Midgardian women, but he wasn’t sure.  
  
    Thor stood up, he figured he should talk to Loki about this. Loki liked men and women, much like Thor, but unlike his older brother, Loki had a preference for men.  
  
    Walking out of his room, Thor was deep in thought. So far deep in thought, in fact, that he didn’t even realize his brother was in front of him until they collided.  
  
    “Ah, brother! I was just looking for you,” Thor smiled, Loki frowned, “What for? Have you come to blame me for something?” Loki raised an eyebrow, his brother only sighed. Thor was always blaming Loki for something. “No, I needed some advice, actually.”  
  
    Loki seemed surprised, he chuckled “Thor? God of thunder? asking for help from me?” He laughed under his breath, “You must really be desperate.”  
  
    Thor sighed, “Perhaps.” He said, almost a little embarrassed. “Well brother? What do you need?” Thor hesitated, “I need your help, with, dating.” Loki looked shocked, he started to laugh, “I can’t believe you’re coming to me for help with dating of all things. Truly Thor, I had figured you’d had this all worked out. I guess I was wrong.”  
Thor chuckled, “It seems that dating on Midgard is quite different from dating on Asgard.” Loki raised his eyebrows, “You hadn’t noticed?”  
  
    “Ha ha,” Thor said sarcastically, Loki was probably more in tune with Midgardian culture than he was. “I had thought that Midgardians didn’t have gay relationships, however, Banner has since informed me that they’re a thing. Which is nice, did you know that brother?”  
  
    Loki raised an eyebrow, “Did he?” he asked, something about that had piqued Loki’s interest. _Whatever_ , Thor thought, He would figure it out later. “He did, he asked me if I had ever considered men, which I obviously have, considering I don’t really have a preference, you know that of course.”  
  
    “You’re rambling again brother.” Loki said with a mild hint of annoyance in his voice, “anyways, did you know Bruce is gay?”  
Thor blinked in surprise, “No I did not, hold on, how come you know this and not me?” He asked, confused as to how Loki knew this before Thor, who was pretty much Bruce’s best friend. Loki sucked in some air through his teeth, “Well dear brother, I saw his grindr profile.” He replied, almost ashamed and avoiding eye contact. Thor looked puzzled, “What is a ‘grindr’?” he asked, _why were so many people mentioning these dating things?_ he thought.  
  
    Loki chuckled, “Ah, well, grindr is like tinder for gay men.” He explained to his older brother, hoping that would clear things up, but Thor seemed even more confused. “…and what exactly is a ‘tinder’?” He asked, a questioning tone in his voice. Loki laughed, “Do you seriously not know what tinder is? You really know nothing about midgardian dating.”  
  
“Perhaps not.”  
  
-  
  
    Loki explained to Thor what grindr and tinder were, along with several other midgardian dating practices. Thor thought it was all very strange, really. Loki had suggested he get an iPhone, which Thor was considering.  
  
    It was odd to Thor that Bruce was gay, or at least into men, he wasn’t quite sure. It was one of those things that Thor didn’t really think about.  
But that didn’t matter, it had been awhile since Thor had courted a man, perhaps it was time.  
  
-  
-  
-  
  
  
    Loki walked into Bruce’s lab, a goal clearly set in his mind.  
“Banner.” Loki said sternly, his expression intense. Bruce jumped in his seat a little, “oh! Loki, h-how are you? I was just talking to Thor.” He replied, a little startled. “I’m well aware of that,” Loki said, intimidating as ever. Bruce flushed a deep crimson, “Oh, did he talk to you about that?” he asked nervously, Loki took a step forward. “Yes, he did. I understand you’re trying to help my brother find a romantic partner, is that true?”  
  
    “Yes, yes it is.” Bruce said meekly, Loki hummed to himself, “Let it be clear, Banner, that I am well aware of your,” he paused, “ _feelings_ for my brother.” Bruce blushed even more, was he really that obvious? “Make no mistake, if you end up hurting him, I will make your life hell.” Loki said, stepping towards Bruce and looking down at him, a dagger appearing in his hands. “Understood?”  
  
“Yes sir.” Bruce muttered, embarrassed. “Good,” Loki said, “I don’t mean to scare you too much, but hurting my brother will cost you dearly.”  
  
Bruce only nodded, if he had a chance with Thor before, it was definitely gone now.  


**Author's Note:**

> wow. thank you for reading this far!! comments and kudos really help me keep going!! anyways if you guys have any suggestions lmk :0


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